My first Grammy

Pay no attention to the image above. It’s pun intended.

This is the story of my first Grammy.

I was invited to the Grammy Awards ceremony. For some unknown reason, the whole ceremony was held in Argentina, but everyone from showbusiness was there. When I get there and I seat, I met some familiar faces: Nick Katona, Colin Tench, among others. My seat was on one of the last rows, but since the theater had a small slope and was staggered, you could see the stage perfectly. Besides, there was a huge screen broadcasting everything.

The ceremony started, but there was something odd about it: No one knew which category they were nominated. All guests were invited, just like me, but when the presenter announced the award, they just stated who the winner was, but not the nomineés. It was quite a rush! We could win ANY category!

Awards went by. Presenters got up stage and went “The winner for Best Supporting Actress is…”, “The winner for Best Original Soundtrack is…” and winners just get on stage and accept their awards. Other nomineés are never mentioned. The odd thing was we were at the Grammys ceremony, but some categories fit better at the Oscars, or the Emmys. That being said, the trophy itself was the classic Emmy Trophy, with the little angel instead of the little gramophone. I didn’t win ANY of awards I thought I maaaaaay could have won. Anyway, since no one knew the nomineés, no one could really feel disappointed. “Best New Artist” went by, and so did “Best Single of the Year“, “Best Musical Production” and any other awards I may have dreamed about. Suddenly, Celeste Gonzalez and Daniela Rodríguez, who starred V.II, got up on stage to present the next award. And with increasing excitement, they announced the next winner:

And the winner for Best Audio Editing is…. Andres!! for “House of Music”

I was astonished. I made it the whole way to the stage, greeting people along the way, excited about winning a Grammy and a little confused about winning it for a movie I never worked on. I was surprised it wasn’t for V.II, specially since it was Daniela and Celeste who were presenting it.. I came on stage, took the EmmyGrammy in my hands, and jokingly thanked the Academy for giving me the Oscar for Best Actor. Since no one in the audience laughed, I realized it was a bad idea to open with a joke, so I just gave my speech. A properly nice and short speech. When I went back to my seat, I had to follow the official protocol and took a selfie for Instagram like everyone else was. I realized my phone was still charging on the first floor, so I had to go get it. Also, I had to buy a 600 ml bottle of Coke.

When I was leaving the theater to buy my Coke, there was a group of people in the staircase. They had built a little fort made of DVD cases, and they nicely told me I could not leave the theather with my trophy in hand, and that I needed to leave it there. Since there were 15 or 20 trophies behind the fort, I gave them mine and left the room. I was just going to get my coke, get back, grab my phone and take my ceremonial selfie. Got my Coke and went back to the theather. When I got there, I found it completely fenced and all wired with the yellow-crime-scene police tape. When I asked the authorities about what happened, they informed me there was a robbery, and the staircase people had robbed more than 400 EmmyGrammy trophies and disappeared without a trace. It was assumed it was a ploy deviced by the infamous Awards Trafficking mafia. After thinking about it for a minute, I approached the Lieutenant and asked him:

Why don’t we turn on the on-board GPS chip each trophy has? That way we could check in real-time where the thieves are, and catch them.

The Lieutenant thought it was an excellent idea, and when we turned the GPS on, we found out the awards were on the move around the Arabian Desert, so the local police deployed a massive operative to get them back.

That’s when I woke up. My first Grammy, and I didn’t even had the chance to keep it.